Devin and Cody,
We’ve been anticipating May 2020 as the time when our family would celebrate your graduations from college for at least four years, maybe longer. I remember Cody telling us when he was seven that he planned to go to college in New York. We thought he was adorable and imaginative but never thought he’d actually make that happen.
We had planned to gather at our favorite bed and breakfast, Goldsmith’s in Missoula, for three days of ceremonies, feasts and toasts honoring Devin’s graduation from the University of Montana. Just a couple of weeks later we were to jet off to New York City to celebrate Cody’s graduation from NYU at Yankee Stadium. I’m not sure any of us knew what to expect from a graduation of that magnitude but now we will never know.
Graduating during a pandemic could be compared to an episode of one of your Dad’s favorite shows: Guy’s Grocery Games, in which Guy announces a cart switch when the chefs have already chosen the just-right ingredients they need to make their most perfect signature meal. All of a sudden the participants find themselves scrambling to figure out what to make using the unfamiliar ingredients in their new cart. Meanwhile the clock is ticking and their success is on the line!
Before you left for college, we made sure you both knew the basics of living on your own: how to grocery shop, cook, clean a bathroom (well, sort of), do your laundry and manage your money. We thought we had prepared you well for a bright future. But just as you neared graduation, you got a major cart switch!
You were asked to finish the last few months of school remotely, while locked away in your apartments. You would have to get to the finish line without the help of your friends, teacher’s assistants, production studios, labs, and in-person lectures. When you needed it most, you wouldn’t be allowed to go to the gym, meet your friends at a bar or even eat at a restaurant. Some of your professors were understanding but some were overwhelmed and let you know they would not change their expectations in spite of the quarantine.
You could’ve given up. No one would’ve blamed you if you took the semester off to regroup. Pushed back your graduation. Went home.
You did not consider that option… for even a moment. Maybe that’s because your parents live in a one bedroom apartment now! But, I think it was something else. You looked in your new carts and decided to make the best of what you found there. You unpacked resilience, tenacity and your sense of humor and got back to work.
You’re going to graduate without a traditional ceremony, or a big party, fifty different photos of you in your cap and gown (relieved about this, right?), and lots of hugs. What you get instead is the knowledge that you’ve met a challenge that no one predicted. You were blindsided but not sidelined. You didn’t give up. You can cross the finish line with pride. You are probably better prepared for life than the majority of grads who preceded you. Because life is often messy and unpredictable. There are disappointments and unforeseen disasters that happen. But beauty and kindness and love show up when you need them most.
Here’s what I know: dogwood trees, cherry trees, azaleas and tulips bloom in the spring and can make you gasp with the intensity of their colors if you take time to notice them. Double rainbows are rare, like you two, and prove that there must be a Higher Power. Warm chocolate chip cookies can transport you with just one gooey bite. Good music, long walks and a glass of wine can change your perspective and give you the courage to show up even when you’d rather stay in bed. And a good belly laugh with a friend is as magical as a Scooby-doo band-aid used to be for fixing boo-boos when you were little.
You do not need a ceremony, a certificate of honor, multi-colored cords or a cap and gown to prove that you are independent humans, future leaders, kind and generous young men, and responsible community members. You have shown us with your actions in the last two months.
You’ve worked and studied from your apartments; ordered groceries online and had some meals delivered to help support your favorite local restaurants. You’ve used your dining room chairs for weight lifting and done push-ups and sit-ups in the living room. You’ve even found time to take yoga classes from your mom via Zoom. I’m not sure if you got as much from the classes as I got from having you attend, but either way was a win.
As the Grinch might say, “It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Graduation, he thought, doesn’t come with a ceremony. What if Graduation, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
The world awaits the Class of 2020. You’ve been forged by steel but have soft, caring hearts. Virtual caps off to you, our Sons. We couldn’t be more proud. Love, Mom and Dad
Jeni and Rocky, I laughed and I cried. What a beautiful loving tribute to your sons. I remember when the thought of having children was all you could think about. I remember holding those little babies shortly after they were born. You two were always meant to be parents. You raised great men. Your reward (although I know you never asked for one) will be in the years to come as they both flourish and the two of you get to start another incredible adventure. I love you my friends forever❤
Thank you Niecer! This means a lot coming from you. You have blazed a trail raising two incredible humans yourself! Love you too.
Congratulations Cody and Devin,. Be the change this world needs! Wishing you much success as you graduate and move on to new achievements.
When I finished College, I stated my new job before formal graduation ceremonies, so did not have the grand experience. Part of me missed the pomp and circumstance. So create your own ceremony, special way to celebrate. Enjoy the moment! Congratulations.
Thank you Adele!
Wonderful tribute! I got teary eyes! Congratulations on your graduations Devin and Cody and best wishes for the future!
Thank you Bernadette!
Congratulations to all four of you! I believe that this day knew about itself when the boys were born. I especially loved how the angels sent the double rainbow graduation card. How lucky the world is when we get a glimpse of greatness as it is being formed. That has been my experience watching your family begin and continue. I am so proud of you, Devin and Cody. There is no surprise at how much promise you have shown and only excitement for what is to come. I have no doubt that somehow there will be the idea and feeling of pomp and circumstance and you will feel celebrated and revered. You two chose some awesome parents who are also tenacious and resilient. Thank you for digging in and already being what the world needs.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny in comparison to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that for you two.
Congratulations with hearts bursting out of my head like Sally when she sees Linus in a favorite Charlie Brown episode!! Love Cousin-Aunt Katy
Thank you Cousin! That’s one of my favorite quotes, too. Thanks for being there for Cody for the last four years. Knowing you had his back meant so much to us!!
Oh my God, you are just too much. Too much love, too much funny, too much Jeni and too much Runny, oh wait, I meant Rocky but I wanted it to rhyme. How beautifully said, and how appropriate for so many. I love you guys to the moon and back. Be well my friends.
Mishe- I love your rhyming reply!! Thank you for your feedback and support. Love you to the moon and back as well. J
Thank you, Jeni. The boys are great and unique. They have chosen their way of life and where they went to college. Now they are about to face the world as they have done in many ways already. I appreciate your tremendous tribute to them and I know they appreciate it as well.
Thank you Dad! They’ve benefited from the support that you and Becky have given them over the years as well. We appreciate you both so much!
Congratulations, Jeni and Rocky! I honor your love, support, positive modeling, courage, humor, and flexibility. Job well done, Devin and Cody! Be safe and healthy!
Thank you so much Pat.
Beautifully written. Congratulations to all for weathering this challenging time. The Class of 2020 will not be forgotten. Hats off to hard work and innovative living while completing your degrees!! Love you all. Aunt Liz
Thanks, Sister! Love you!
So eloquent and beautiful Jeni. Brought a few tears to my eyes. What a wonderful perspective during this unprecedented time. Congrats to your family for such a proud accomplishment ❤️🙏
Thank you Trisha!
What a beautiful message for two strong and beautiful men. The world needs them!
Thank you Karen!